The Poolest of the Mall, by Swimwear Department

The Poolest of the Mall

by Swimwear Department

supported by

Houston Boyer When I grow up, I wanna be a concrete ruin! Favorite track: Clothing Optional.

joeyhook Finally, a song that speaks to those of us who have long dreamed of someday being concrete ruin. Favorite track: Clothing Optional.

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

Purchasable with gift card

$10 USD or more
Record/Vinyl + Digital Album
12" pink and blue splatter vinyl. Insert includes lyrics and 12" x 24" diptych by artist Rebecca Elise Cook.

Includes unlimited streaming of The Poolest of the Mall via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

ships out within 5 days

$25 USD or more

1.	We Need a Place 04:48	lyrics	buy track
We need a place for the kids to go, So we can take a break Not a break if we’re worried sick, so We need a place that’s super safe A Neverland, a perfect place Tinkerbell with a parking lot Grow up at the perfect pace Get lost boys, but not too lost We need a place for the kids to go And it’s a training wheel city With a code of conduct Nerf version of the real world A public place, private police force Please force the riff-raff out Take the kids into custody No charges; just cuss ‘em out They’ll cry “I’m so sorry mom I’ll never shoplift again, I promise!” Eat! Shop! Exercise! People watch! Perfect size! Play! Date! Moviepass! Safe! Bright! Middle! Class! We need a place for the kids to try Pseudosex, petty crime, Cigarettes, social lives Make out, make up their minds Find a new place where the kids are hip to Hired guns, extra protection We need a place where they think they’re alone No! We know: they’re under surveillance! Eat! Shop! Exercise! People watch! Perfect size! Play! Date! MoviePass! Safe! Bright! Middle! Class! And then a golden escalator took me up to a place That looked like a combination ice skating rink And video arcade; games from wall to wall, Not a parent in sight Kids of all kinds, sliding from side to side While it rained tickets and tokens It felt like we had Unlimited continues, unlimited lives Then surprise! The ice began to melt Into a whirling, swirling vortex, Short-circuiting the games, Sucking us down the drain, And as we spun around each other, We groaned our growing pains We’ve lost our place! We need a place to go!
2.	Swim-up Bar 02:36	lyrics	buy track
Designate a diver at the swim-up bar Stroke and kick You can’t get there in a car Sex is on the beach The Arnold Palmies are on par Pours are extra heavy Liquor’s extra hard, So designate a diver at the swim-up bar The swimming pool is deep Glasses also are Bottom’s full of giant squid And alligator gar Lifeguards are off duty, So it’s B.Y.O. G-U-A-R-D Designate a diver at the swim-up bar The swim up to the swim-up Is 1600 yards Chips are super soggy, And the pretzels also are The B.A.C. 0.083 Is pumping through your heart Designate a diver at the swim-up bar It’s raining free tequila Joanne is slinging shots Drinks are coming two-by-two, And no one built an ark The surface is on fire From all the alcohol Designate a diver at the swim-up bar
3.	Cool Mall Stroll 02:21	lyrics	buy track
It’s summertime hot; air conditioner’s broke Get up to the mall And do the Cool Mall Stroll Whoa oh, Cool Mall Stroll Can’t buy nothing at all ‘Cause all my friends are broke Let’s get up to the mall And do the Cool Mall Stroll Swimming Suit Department said All the pools are closed Let’s get up to the mall And do the Cool Mall Stroll Whoa oh, Cool Mall Stroll Let’s go. It’s hot. It’s SO HOT! Summertime hot, air conditioner’s broke Get up to the mall And do the Cool Mall Stroll
4.	Belly Flop 02:22	lyrics	buy track
Sugar! I wanna see you dive Little sugar glider, I wanna watch you glide So spread your legs And your other legs…so wide Little sugar glider On the high dive Go to the pool, walk over to the diving board, Climb each step up the ladder to the diving board Step, step, hop off the end of the diving board, And when you hit the water, sugar glider, Super diver, do a belly...FLOP!
5.	Clothing Optional 03:37	lyrics	buy track
“Don’t Stop Believin’ ” is your go-to karaoke song And it has been for years, but listen… You can always change it, if you need to And you don’t have to think The ways you’ve always thought About politics, religion, or romance Just ‘cause those were the ways You were always taught to think You might think about getting a hobby Maybe even quitting your job You don’t to do the things that you have always done, And you don’t have to be the one You’ve always been Just because you spent your whole life being them It’s optional Clothing! Optional! Disrobing! Optional! You don’t have to be a shopping mall anymore You could be a righteous faith-healing mega-church You don’t have to be a church forever, love Someday you could be a concrete ruin You wanna fit in? Go to the fitting room! You wanna change? Go to the changing room! And you don’t have to be a pool anymore, Pool I think you could make a kick-ass skatepark And when the skater kids grow up to be our politicians, You could be graffiti-covered concrete ruins You wanna fit in? Go to the fitting room! You wanna change? Go to the changing room! Clothing! Optional! Disrobing! Optional!
6.	Submarine 02:34	lyrics	buy track
Joanne is not the gender that her body is She doesn’t like the way her swimsuit doesn’t fit What kind of swimsuit, thinks Joanne, should I invent To feel cool at the pool when I go for a swim? It needs a stainless steel tank that covers all my bits, A little extra room for like two or three friends, Periscope and ballast tanks and side-view vents Damn, I want a swimming suit just like Joanne’s Submarine, submarine, submarine It’s a swimsuit and a submarine Her gender non-conforming suit defines your confusion A submarine suit that battles Russian collusion In the deep, deep sea or in the kiddie pool Joanne and her swimming suit are deeply cool She don’t take shit off of giant squid Torpedoes off the high dive, she can sink and swim Parties at the bottom of the deepest end Damn, I want a swimming suit just like Joanne’s Submarine, submarine, submarine It’s a swimsuit and a submarine I want a swimming suit just like Joanne’s I want a swimming suit; I want a submarine I want a swimming suit, a swimsuit and a submarine
7.	Shop! 04:04	lyrics	buy track
Welcome to the infinite now Where the only thing that matters Is how you feel right now Are you hungry? Thirsty? Insatiable…just bored? A huddled mass of yearning For more and more and more? Instant satisfaction is just a click away We’ve optimized the algorithm, simplified the game We’ll feed you, get you off We’ll quench and entertain Inject you with contentment; you only have to pay In this eternal present, now’s the only time We’ve got the only thing you want: DESIRE! We always stock your current size It only costs the current price Shop until you drop! Shop until you die! Please ignore the worker at work behind the curtain Ignore the world-destroying means Of our product production We single use our bottles; we single use our hands Out of sight, out of mind, out of water, out of land In this eternal present, now’s the only time We’ve got only thing you want: DESIRE! We always stock your current size It only costs the current price Shop until you drop! Shop until you die! Shop until you drop, start to convulse Keep shopping until you inflate, ignite…explode Your shopper shopping body parts Get splattered on the mall Keep shopping ‘til your mallicules are nothing at all Shop until you rot…decompose Get slurped up by a worm; become a vegetable You’re harvested and packaged Shipped out to a shop Where shoppers shop you up for energy To shop and shop and shop and shop!
8.	Malled to Death 03:18	lyrics	buy track
Out on the highway, Just a short drive from the center of town, The mall decays A swarm of cars has it surrounded Anchors have fallen into the sea They turn over, go under, go down Up escalator, swinging a sickle, Reaper comes harvesting stores that went down They’ve been malled to death! These bags are heavy My fingers are cramping My back is aching, and so is my head Hours of shopping, walking, talking Reading maps, reading ads, never ends Infinite options broke window shoppers Mall did us in, took us out, took us down Up escalator, swinging that sickle, Reaper comes harvesting souls that went down We’ve been malled to death! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today To commit the mall to the earth from which it came Broken skylights, crushed terrazzo tile Ashes to ashes, and dust to dust
9.	The Lifeguard 06:50	lyrics	buy track
The Lifeguard is not a woman; the Lifeguard is not a man The Lifeguard is not David Hasselhoff or Pamela Anderson The Lifeguard is not lotioning and oiling up there on the stand The Lifeguard is off-duty, not working on the tan The guard is no strong swimmer, won’t pass the brickin’ test The Lifeguard won’t go in after you, revive you with a kiss The Lifeguard will do no chest compressions, Will do no rescue breaths The Lifeguard is off-duty, so swim at your own risk! No lifeguard is on duty, so swim at your own pace The Lifeguard won’t ride paddleboards or jet-skis past the break The Lifeguard won’t show up in court to be held to account, Won’t listen while we plead the case for everyone who drowned That lifeguard must be busy, not giving shits or damns Maybe on vacation? Maybe on the can? Fa-fa-fa-fa psycho killer... What is that? What is this? The Lifeguard is off duty, so swim at your own risk! Did the Lifeguard see it coming, that dark night in the pool, When you did the worst thing ever or had it done to you? Did the Lifeguard leave the lights out, out of malice or neglect? Did the Lifeguard let it happen, make it happen, forget? How every time I jack-knifed, I’d look up toward the stand To watch the Lifeguard watch me drowning in the deepest end And I would feel so guilty for days and days on end, ‘Cause I wasn’t like the Lifeguard I saw living in my head Is the Lifeguard like the water in the pool and in the blood? A dark cloud raining acid on the just and the unjust? The injustice of what just is has no face and has no name The lifeguard just goes on and on like an ever-breaking wave The Lifeguard, the Lifeguard You are the Lifeguard Alive
10.	Memall 04:29	lyrics	buy track
"Beautiful Dreamer” was the song you’d sing to wake me up In your nylon wind suit, perfect makeup, perfect hair Load up the hand weights in the Oldsmobile 88 5:00 in the morning any given Saturday You didn’t have much, Memall Still you’d call and say Let’s take a walk through the mall, And while we walk, let’s window shop, And while we window shop, let’s talk about it all All you want…and when you’re gone, I’ll come back to the mall and get you Everything you want I’ll get it all I’ll get you everything you want Everything you want Silver Surfer action figure Red Five X-Wing Lego set Nintendo 64 with all the games A Pride Rock Polly Pocket A baby sister from your parents Disneyland with all expenses paid You and I were both kids those days Running up the escalator the wrong way Getting in our laps and cutting up Mickey D’s black coffee, and Orange Julius I miss you so much, Memall... So I still go up there some days And take a walk through the mall, And while I walk, I window shop, And while I window shop, I think about it all All you want…now that you’re gone I’ll come back to the mall to get you Everything you want I’ll get it all I’ll get you everything you want Everything you want A manicure, a makeover A stack of steamy romance novels The nicest gloves that Isotoner makes Two pet turtles, just one name The Precious Moments figurines Casino trip with all expenses paid New hand weights, new walking shoes The buffest bod with all the moves All five senses never go away A kind and hunky second husband Great-great-grandkids, lots of lovin’ Us mall-walkin’ every single day...

credits

released August 4, 2023

license

about

Swimwear Department Houston, Texas

dance-punk about swimming pools and shopping malls

swimweardepartment.band

contact / help

Contact Swimwear Department

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Redeem code

Report this album or account

If you like Swimwear Department, you may also like:

Ephemeral
by Groupie

Brooklyn's Groupie make post-punk that is at turns bouncy, scuzzy, joyous, and sharp, with a strong melodic core; this is their debut LP. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 19, 2021
go to album
Brain Candy
by Hockey Dad

The Australian surf-rock duo is back with another album filled with infectious pop, punk, and rock songs. Bandcamp New & Notable Jul 31, 2020
go to album
Certified Ailments
by holiday music

Laid-back yet restless indie rock is heavy on the catchy melodies and unexpected musical choices that elevate the simplicity of the tunes. Bandcamp New & Notable Feb 21, 2020
go to album
Hagioscope to the Heart
by Paint Thinner

Noisy, expansive psych-punk from Detroit that explores the darker, stranger corners of a colorful trip. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 22, 2019
go to album
To Fall Asleep
by HAVVK

Sweet-and-sour pop hooks cozy up to massive grunge riffs on the Irish indie rockers' impassioned third LP. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 21, 2024
go to album
Blinded By Oblivion
by Axis: Sova

Axis:Sova mess with the hard rock playbook, creating playful, catchy songs that challenge as much as they rip. Bandcamp New & Notable Oct 10, 2023
go to album
Rotting Teeth In The Horse's Mouth
by SAVAK

Guitar-forward indie rock with big riffs and a bigger heart, the latest from SAVAK is blistering & boisterous. Bandcamp New & Notable Mar 30, 2020
go to album